I was asked by The Healthy Primate to write an article for their newsletter – Check out THP & I hope you enjoy the article.
There are a few experiences that are universal to every human regardless of success, socioeconomic status, religion, race, age, or citizenship. The positive experiences include things like, happiness, & love. There is also another list that doesn’t get nearly as much press, this other list includes things like shame, rejection, guilt, & anger. There isn’t much of a social network for sharing these experiences without also feeling the wrath and judgment from our fellow-man. You’ll hear more in a succeeding post about an app that will provide a safe, anonymous place for you to share these experiences without being beaten down by an internet troll, or put on blast by TMZ. But, until then what do we do with these memories, regrets, & insecurities that have an unfortunate grip on how we treat ourselves, the ones we love, and the world around us?
We start by finding refuge within ourselves. What I am not suggesting is that we justify the severity of our action to lessen the effect they have/had on us or someone else, rather, that we would explore and endure the trials of internal vulnerability. Maybe, just maybe, you are the person you’ve been waiting for to grant you forgiveness and grace. May I also suggest that it is your shoulder that needs to be drenched in your tears. This process comes adorned with a thoughtful alliteration:
Relive the experiences one at a time.
Resolve the emotional outcome of those experience.
Relieve yourself of the emotional responsibility in order to move on.
This process is not easy but it is simple, and with enough effort the residual dividends will be absolutely priceless to your future, and in searching for freedom from these experiential burdens.
In conclusion, may I make one last statement of intention: I am not suggesting or encouraging that we look at ourselves as our own saviors, or that we discard a spiritual deity during this process either. I am simply suggesting that the pursuit of emotional freedom may begin by having some serious dialogue with the man/woman in the mirror.
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