A Fixer Upper

Patience is something that most humans lack… those that don’t seem to lack patience, are usually just bored, and have no other choice but to be “patient”.

Ok, that was a little cynical, but you know I’m mostly telling the truth.

Our ability to be impatient is somewhat astounding; impatience usually leads us into a situation that we are completely discontent with and retrospectively ask ourselves, “Why didn’t I wait?”

In the pursuit of opening “The Collective”, the Refuge United team is searching for a building to be our first location, our initial investment, and a reputation in the business world. All of this to say, there is a lot of pressure on the line, especially for me, as I am the Visionary and Apostle of this project.

When I moved to Flagstaff just over three months ago, I was desperate to find a building and move on with this vision, so I immediately contacted a real estate agent who found one building that fit the search requirements, and was introduced to the owner of another building.

Two options…

Building number one was clearly not the right building, it had at one time been a Real Estate office, and that is exactly what it looked like. The second building, however, had much potential. What was originally the Elks Lodge of Flagstaff so many years ago had functioned as a dance hall, club, & teahouse, amongst other things within this community.

Out of the two options, building two was going to be the one we put our lot in on, even though it was a fixer upper.

See, building two had a couple of elements, or attributes if you will, that were absolutely perfect… but the major identity was not at all what I desired for “The Collective”, or how we believe the Lord wants us to use our time/money.

There was massive cleaning necessary, almost a complete remodel of flooring, the ceiling, tearing down existing walls and building new ones, etc…

Which means, I could have eventually made this building almost exactly what I see in my vision for it… after a quarter of a million dollar investment and more work than may be necessary.

An investment that just simply isn’t worth it when the reality is that I would have settled to work so hard and invest so much!

Recently, I was looking at pictures of building number two and thought to myself, “What was I thinking?”

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time that I’ve looked back at pictures and thought, “what was I thinking?”

How many times have you settled for a fixer upper?

Back to the idea of patience… rather than being patient and looking for a partner, a job, a car, or even a building that really fits the vision of what we want for our future, we often settle for a couple positive attributes.

I’m going to focus on romantic relationships for the rest of this post…

We often get ourselves into relationships w/ a ‘fixer upper’ because we find a couple really great things about that person, but see the rest as an investment and tell ourselves things like, “if I invest enough and work hard, they will be my perfect person.”

I mean, relationships are work, right?

A relationship being work, is much different than a relationship being miserable…

The truth is that men are generally controlling and women are generally manipulative, two characteristics that lead us to believe, in our depraved vanity that we are able to change another human being.

If meeting someone new or entering the early stages of a young romance, your thought process is consumed by who they could be, or, if only they did/didn’t… please let that person be free from your manipulation and indefinite personal let down.

Keep searching… Life is FULL of options and there are people in this world who you can pursue romantically that you won’t need/want to fix!

When we meet someone on this premise, a relationship is far more joy than it is work… which is what we dream of as little boys and girls anyway…

Be patient or unhappy!


2 thoughts on “A Fixer Upper

  1. All the more reason to ask ourselves, “Am I the type of (wo)man, that the type of person I desire to be and serve with would be attracted to?” Totally convicting, right? Well, it was for me. Seeing in this season that waiting and being patient doesn’t have to mean doing nothing. It’s the perfect time to take up a hammer with God and do a little remodeling….on my own heart & habits.

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