Recently, I made the personal assessment that I don’t keep anything private… Unlike most people who journal, mine does not contain information that is unknown by someone else or unsearchable on the worldwide, multigenerational, “tool” known as the identitynet… I’m sorry… I mean, internet.
The newly renamed “identitynet”… is my source for personal outlet.
This may or may not be healthy.
I literally own everything “dennisgable”, on the internet…
Some of this is an attempt to bring fame, recognition and a following to my ideals… the rest is to redeem the name Dennis Gable. I am a JR and I can assure you that there is a lot to redeem regarding my name [and it’s heritage].
Maybe this hasn’t been a total waste of time, money and effort, but it is becoming a waste of my time, and I don’t quite know how to reconcile the way I am feeling or what to do about it.
One of my best friends, Bear Peterson referred to me as a washed up, wanna-be, rockstar today in response to a comment I made about not giving up on the dream of being a well-known motivational speaker. That’s how it is starting to feel…
These are not my details, however, I feel like the 29-year-old guy who isn’t married because he can’t quite settle down enough, and lives in a trailer working a part-time job as a server in hopes that someday the dream will come to life…
Wait, those are the details of my life…
What am I actually doing with my skills as a speaker and writer, my story and my opinions/ideals that I think could make the world a better place?
Great question… If you have an answer, please fill me in.
So… where did this come from?
About an hour ago, I was sitting in my friend Luke Savidge’s car, crying… Remembering the moment three years ago yesterday, when my mom was living what turned out to be her last day, and I leaned over and whispered into her ear, “I love you mommy, I promise I am going to make you proud.” Then I pulled my face away from her ear, kissed her on the forehead with tears dripping down my face and allowed the room to be occupied with the crowd of visitors.
After that memory, I wondered, have I spent so much time trying to make myself famous that I’ve actually become a self-centered, narcissistic, attention hungry, insecure, afraid to be alone, attention whore?
If I spent half as much time caring for the people I talk about caring for, versus telling “social” media in 140 character snippets how much I care, I would probably start to make a difference.
This summer is going to be an experiment for me… I am going to tweet less and lead more, I will let my steps speak, not the vibration of hot air that slides past my tongue through my lips and into the realm of sound. I will greatly decrease how much I write and talk about me, and I will gladly tell your story, if you aren’t willing to tell it yourself. I am truly going to seek to find my full security in the truth of knowing Jesus Christ, rather than how many blog views I get, followers on Twitter I have, or Facebook interactions I receive.
This is going to be an interesting season [a literal one, not the Christian term for a period of time]…
Here are some of the things I am going to do [or not do] to start this little adventure:
- Shutting down my personal FB account… so, if you would to correspond with me, email me: Holler@DennisGable.com
- I will try my hardest to boast only in freedom that comes from the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
- Pouring myself into younger men [and women] in my new community of Flagstaff, because I believe the Lord has led my life in a way that I have a lot to impart to those willing to receive.
- My journal will become personal, not secretive, but personal [there is a huge difference].
- I will tell other people’s stories, through writing, video, poetry and painting.