When I started writing this it was 1:11am on Sunday September 5, 2010 and I was sitting in a bed that is not mine with an ice pack on my left ankle, thinking about all that I am going to miss over the six [plus] months that I am in Spain.
This weekend allowed me to see two of my wonderful friends whom I don’t get to spend much time with because they live in San Diego, CA. Every moment with them is cherished because these moments are few are far between and there is an entire family of people who reunite when all of us are together. I am going to miss these opportunities, and not just these but every moment that will pass while I am in Spain.
Here is a list of what I will miss:
- Thanksgiving w/ Devon
- Topher’s Bday
- Christmas w/ Devon
- New Years with my besties
- Grandpa’s birthday
- My dad’s birthday [being here with and for Devon]
- The birth of Bear and Jenee’s first born
- Grandma’s birthday
- Jon and Allison’s wedding
And those are just the things that I could remember at 1:36am…
I am missing out on interaction with people that I truly love and care about, new and old friendships that I am deeply invested in and situations that simply have to be put on hold for a minimum of six months. Just to clarify, “missing out on” is somewhat relative and does not reflect in anyway a lack of excitement for this new journey that I am about to embark on. There are numerous reasons that have me very excited to be in Spain and away from my comfort zone for 6 months
It is now, 12:45am on Monday September, 6th. My ankle still hurts and I am in bed [technically, on floor] because I am exhausted from a very emotional weekend. A large majority of my emotion that was expressed outwardly was full of joy, excitement and gratitude, however, there is often an introverted dark side of analyzation that is draining and deadly. To be honest, I would love to explain this dichotomy to you, just not sure if I am able to find the words right now… Maybe one day I will make a post solely committed to my crazy brain [that makes me tired just thinking about it]. For now I will tell you this, many times in my life I have been accused of “over-thinking”, “over-analyzing” and not being willing to “just enjoy life as it comes”. To these accusations I say, guilty. It is a wonderful benefit because at some level I am always considering the pro’s and con’s of a situation as well as the feelings/emotions of others that may be involved. What this needs is balance, I am not quite sure where the balance is hidden, but when I find it I will let you all know…
I need to stop writing because now I am thinking through and analyzing my processes of analyzation, I’m telling you it’s a jungle up there! How about we just conclude this post…
There are experiences that I am going to miss, while I am immersed in the moments of others, not sure how I feel about this trade off or the people that I will be leaving. Just know that I am going to miss you.
In addition [after waking up], I trust [not fully, but I’m working on it] that Jesus is an active part of my life and the lives of those around me, which makes this a little more comfortable.