there are days i don’t believe the words i say- like a life that i’m not living a song that i’m not singing but to you.
there are times that i believe i’m satisfied like an intimate connection despite this bad reception with you.
because i can’t afford to pay for most of what i say so it’s a lucky thing that the truth’s public domain.
and i am like a mockingbird i’ve got no new song to sing
and i am like an amplifier i just tell you what i’ve heard
oh, i’m like a mockingbird
and yes, it’s true that i need this more than you like one whose name is many have mercy, please don’t send me away.
FACT: I’ve been sitting at this very spot for about 10 minutes searching for a creative way to open up this piece of writing.
FACT: I am not feeling very creative.
FACT: I have literally hundreds of things I would like to say and due my absence, I don’t know where to begin.
QUESTION: How much do you really want to change and grow?
THOUGHT: Life would be more simple if I was less in tune with my introspection.
QUESTION: Who really cares about my growth?
ANSWER: My Creator.
QUESTION: So, why should I fight so hard to become the “best” version of me?
ANSWER: In hopes that the people I encounter recognize that we are all a work in progress, and feel loved, protected, or safe in the process.
THOUGHT: If I viewed life through a lens where the only thing that mattered was the answer to this question, “is God pleased with me?” my life would be drastically different.
I am haunted with the idea that every word I ever write or speak is simply a regurgitation of someone else’s mind. In listening to “Mockingbird” by Derek Webb, I was struck with a feeling of understanding with his lyrics.
FACT: There are times that I either don’t believe or am not living in accordance to the things I say/write.
FACT: My life is so public because I’d rather you hear it from me and I’m [typically] not very concerned with the opinions of the global church body.
FACT: I would rather be the person you relate with rather than the person you learn from.
A lot of my writing is focused on “the past” and “my sin” because I don’t want to be a mockingbird. My life and it’s insanity is something that no one else can write about in the same way I can, or with the amount of insight I have. I dream of being an eagle, a symbol of freedom for the humble and genuine.
FACT: I am created to be part mockingbird, part eagle.
THOUGHT: There is a wonderful balance of Lion and Lamb in every great Shepard.
CONCLUSION: Your words, like mine are nothing new, however the sound of our voice is one of a kind… Embrace YOUR voice and regurgitate the truths, trials and triumphs of your journey.