Expectations & Realizations

Over the past few days I have come to some really difficult, pride swallowing realizations about who I am and how I treat those I love. Retrospect is always an unfortunate view because it usually consists of my flaws, short-comings and leaves me wishing I would have done things differently. I am currently seeing my life through retrospective eyes and it isn’t very enjoyable.

I have realized that I expect too much out of everyone. These expectations often leave me unnecessarily disappointed in myself, in the people I love and many times I am left feeling insecure. These insecurities are ridiculous, but it seems to be a self fulfilling prophecy of mine.

I expect people to be there.

I expect people to want my company.

I expect people to say yes to me.

This is so depressing to realize. SO. DEPRESSING. TO. REALIZE.

Chances are you have fallen subject to this; there are no boundaries or requirements as to who this affects. Please forgive me. Forgive me for expecting you to love me the way that I want to be loved. Forgive me for not making you feel comfortable and confident in your decisions. Forgive me that I am just realizing this now.

How does this change from here on out? It is a matter of me, loving me, the way that I encourage people to love and appreciate themselves. It is me realizing that I don’t always know what is best for you or a specific situation. It is me realizing that life is worth enjoying and I should probably just chill the hell out, most of the time. And it is me realizing that people don’t have to spend time w/ me when I want them to and always know that they still love me.

I am sorry. It has been an incredibly rough couple of days in the mind of Dennis Gable. Please pray for me as I seek my identity in what was done on the Cross, not in my relationships, in my talents or in my popularity.

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2 thoughts on “Expectations & Realizations

  1. You can’t make somebody love you. People love you because of what they see in you. I don’t know if this blog is directed mainly to one person in particular or if it’s in general, but I’m speaking in general. I’ll say it again: You can’t make somebody love you.
    You are not perfect, and neither is a single one of the people who love you. But the fact that you are striving to improve yourself and the things that you have said speak worlds of you.
    Your “How does this change from here on out?” paragraph hits the nail on the head, and helps me relate to you more than you know.
    YOU CANNOT MAKE SOMEONE LOVE YOU. You can only allow yourself to be loved.

  2. I’m not sure I really understand what you mean, but I think I might…I kind of had an issue with this in the past (/I sometimes still do). I would make people feel guilty if they didn’t hang out with me/didn’t want to do something I wanted to do/were too busy to hang out. But then you just have to realize that you are not the center of the universe, people do have their own lives, and there are lots of people who care about you and will be around.

    But then again, you can’t sit around and wait for people to call you or say yes to you. Friendship is a two-way street. The people who want you around and make time for you are the ones who really matter.

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