Spinning

This is also my daily writing for today in Project 222.

I really like one word titles… I realized tonight that as this project progresses I am going to have to step up my game and really challenge my creativity or else we’ll all get bored. For tonight… we will stay on my general path of writing and I hope you enjoy it.

The world is spinning and whether we choose to stand still or join the chaos, movement happens. Some would say, “life happens” and I would agree. In the midst of sovereignty and chance is “life”. That isn’t as theological of a statement as it sounds, and really I’m not even sure how to mesh the two ideas of sovereignty and chance, or if they mesh at all. What I do know is, no matter what we choose to call the chaotic whirlwind, we can not call it to stop or slow down for that matter. My life has been somewhat chaotic, especially over the last couple of years and just today I was thinking, “when will I get to rest?” The likely answer to my question is never, and although I try to accept that fact, I think it sucks.

Emotional freedom is one of my most desperate pursuits, typically I am able to encounter this through the most incredible gift of communication but am I alone in this journey? I seem to be one of the few crazies walking around who think that it is a good idea to express every painful thing that happens. Just today I was driving and saw a girl with a little shorter than shoulder length hair, a gray hoodie and a demeanor to match her heather sweatshirt. I couldn’t help but wonder what could be troubling this young, average looking girl? Will she ever talk about it? Does anyone know? Will she ever feel safe enough to share what is happening inside of her heart? The common answer to these questions is no. The troubling reality to these questions is, even if she finds someone who she could trust, she probably won’t. It is possible that the wounds are just too deep and the pain that would come from the re-opening of them would probably be more intense than the initial cut. And so she sits, lonely and held captive to her past even though freedom is just an arms length away.

Because life continues to spin out of control and we go through life feeling caught up in a tornado of hellish experience and pain, many of us will remain held captive. Let me encourage you that life will never give you a break, in my experiences it is much more beneficial to accept that and begin ripping the skeletons out of the closet during the calm between the storms. This is how I live. It is not perfect but it is free and I feel healthy most of the time. If there is anything that you would like to talk about and get off your heart, I am here, please feel free to contact me by email or phone or we can even grab some coffee if you live in AZ. I love you and I’ll be waiting.

L!VELOVE

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32 thoughts on “Spinning

  1. Dennis i think you are right, exposing our own darkness, sin, pain, shame, or whatever you wanna call it is the only way to get past it. Like you told me and as i have read many times is the book of James, we are to confess our sins to one another, lay hands on one another and pray for each other, so that we may be healed. When we come together in agreement that our junk is bothering us and does not belong, then we give it to the Lord and ask his divine intervention amazing things happen. When we do this something happens in the spriitual realm that we cannot see with the naked eye, this is the image that the Lord gave me to illustrate how this looks. Imagine a room full of roaches, just wondering around wreaking havoc, causing damage, and pretty much just trying to find something to consume. Then without warning we come home and flip the light swtich on and in the blink of an eye all the roaches (pain, hurt, shame, etc) scatter, and run for there lives. These evil spirits that spread these infectious emotional, and phyical diseases are very much like roaches. When we stop letting them run wild and having there way and expose them by shinning the light (Jesus) on them, they to run for their lives. I said all that to say this Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. Dennis please continue to pray for me as i still struggle with lust. Thank you so much and God Bless You..

  2. This outlooks seems bleak at best. There is a way past the skeletons in the closet and it is to get rid of them. We cannot define ourselves by the crap that we have been through, otherwise we will continue to stink and deflect people in our lives. Remove the baggage, take out the trash. And this does not have to be done through verbal diarrhea. Sometimes talking about the crap makes us more disgusting. Move on, leave the garbage behind, allow solid people into your life who can encourage you and show you Christ.

    • Anonymous:
      If you would be so bold as to humor me in the answering of a few questions, I mean, what do you have to lose? We don’t even know your name…
      Give me a brief rundown of your skeletons.
      How do we get rid of the skeletons and pains by simply shutting the door on them and pretending as if they don’t exist?
      If we do not put in the work to heal emotionally, what good does it do for good people to surround us?
      Are we as healthy as we fight to be OR as healthy as the people who surround us?

      Although I don’t agree, I don’t want to simply discard your thoughts. I would really appreciate it if you could back them up for me because I just can’t see the benefit in putting a smile on and keeping our pains locked up and “dealt with”. Please know this, I believe that salvation and redemption that is offered by a relationship with Jesus is the most ultimate way for us to heal and pursue emotional freedom, however, not everyone who reads my blog has faith in Jesus. Some will and some may not… for those that do not, my heart breaks just as desperately for their heartbreak as it does for that of any believer.

      I am looking forward to your reply!

      L!VELOVE

  3. I did that when my mom died I shut everything away.. Locked it up and kept on. Now my friend just died and I couldn’t bring myself to go to the funeral because of the traumatic situation surrounding my mom. I thought I had moved on and was good to go until something opened the closet and let the skeletons back out.

    • Doyle,
      so what now? Is there any way that I can help? The skeletons have to come out and be exposed for the poison that they are or else you will be continually paralyzed by them.

      L!VELOVE

  4. The point is to not pour out all of your skeletons. At least not to the world. What good does it to to just throw up on people who are not qualified to hear it. All you will get is sympathy and sympathy does not go far, its a band-aid. If you have pain and injury in your life and you throw that on people who cannot help you, you are only making that relationship more weak. It is important to go to a qualified counselor, someone who can help heal the pain and allow you to face the skeletons and to put them to rest. Shouting out your pain allows you to focus on it. That is the problem with this blog society today, it creates egocentric minds that dwell on their weakness/problems and to receive sympathy from people who can only give sympathy.
    Get help, not from a friend, but from someone with a degree. And stop throwing up. It is unhealthy. Keep the food it, swallow, heal, absorb, listen and grow.

    • Anonymous,
      You forgot one part of the humor… What have you been through?

      What is funny about our conversation Mr./Ms. Anonymous is that I find it to be even more egocentric to hold things in, to think that you are strong enough to handle the pain alone or to think that someone who is not “qualified” could be of no benefit to you especially if you have taken the time to truly exchange life with, build trust with and love the people that are closest to you! [please forgive the gnarly run-on] I have heard horror stories of people with “degree” that are about as qualified to counsel someone as a six year is to perform an open heart surgery on someone’s grandparent. I mean, how deep are your friendships if you don’t bear each others burdens? And what do we do with James’ advice to “confess our sin to each other and pray for each other so that we may be healed“? And what about Paul’s words in Galatians, “bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ”? The context there is so much larger than just speaking and listening, gosh, so much larger, however, pain that we carry with us are our burdens as well!

      Have you ever just needed to vent about something, anything, regardless of its level of importance?

  5. The purpose of exposing and sharing as D Gable does maybe the exact process that the Lord has for him to remove the “skeletons” out of the closet, heal and in the same works, help others who may be where he is/was.

    I wrote blogs etc, and continue to share my journey as I, in Christ work on becoming who I should be and can be. I think that the one reason why a lot of believers and non believers alike struggle (Feeling alone with their burdens) is because they are made to feel as if “talking” about their struggles, etc is something that should not be done, when it is alright and encouraged. I know personally that until I started to speak up and out about a lot of things that I faced and still face, I was remaining in a cycle, by my silence.

    I respect what D Gable does on many levels. I know how it is, cause I was and am there, being a writer who shares her life, with others as God has called me too.

    We really may never know how much of a positive impact Dennis is having on many people who may have never heard of, or know who Jesus is until they read what he shares.

    I know that it made it easier for me to really began to deal with myself, when I had someone that I could relate to who was unashamed to be real about their own process of healing.

    We have to be careful of what we say about someone else’s journey for and of healing as well bridle our tongues not to criticize as how God may be using someone to minister as well.

    God Bless, Dennis, keep doing what you know to do to bring healing, freedom, not only to your own life, but to those that read and hear what you have to say.

    Dannielle

    • Dannielle,
      Thank you for the continued encouragement! Trust me, there are many things that I’d rather keep bottled up inside and act as if they don’t exist, however, if I were to do that I would be a wreck.

      I commend your pursuit of freedom and healthy living, don’t give up!!

      • You are very welcome! And I totally understand where you are coming from, I did that for years, and it did nothing but cause more dammage to keep things bottled up. Thank you, I definitely will keep going forward!

  6. I somewhat agree with previous anonymous person. On several levels. I DO believe that counseling is always a great option to “release” the skeletons with someone who can truly help you. I also agree that sympathy IS a band-aid and “If you have pain and injury in your life and you throw that on people who cannot help you, you are only making that relationship more weak.” I’ve learned it from experience not once, not twice, more times than I’ve counted. Unfortunately, I’ve had to learn every time…the hard way. People can not bear your cross and the weight of your skeletons and if you throw everything on them, they will break and eventually leave you with nothing but more hurt. I find it amusing that you of all people argue this.

    “If there is anything that you would like to talk about and get off your heart, I am here, please feel free to contact me by email or phone or we can even grab some coffee if you live in AZ. I love you and I’ll be waiting.”
    You are one who hasn’t been there when people HAVE needed you. You may decide who you’re going to be there for, but you can’t be there for everyone. Think about the people who have been on the receiving end of THAT one. After being on the receiving end of such, only ONCE, it becomes that much harder to open the door to that closet…after each time, you close yourself off more and more until you share yourself with no one. You keep everything in and have only surface friends and decide that’s better than having no friends…..

    How about that for venting?

    • Anonymous 2,
      We obviously know each one another and for what it is worth, I am sorry that I have failed you on some level at some point.

      I too agree that counseling is a beautiful and freeing process, however, my argument was simply this: just because someone has a “degree” doesn’t make them well suited, it may make them educated but that could be the extent. There is the other side of course where the degree is pursued by the right individual who can be infinitely beneficial!

      You say, “People can not bear your cross and the weight of your skeletons and if you throw everything on them, they will break and eventually leave you with nothing but more hurt.” This statement I agree with… we can not expect to “throw everything on them” and have a sinful, fragile, broken and needy individual to carry the whole load, however, there are pieces that can be held and lifted by the people that love you. I think everyone should seek counseling, but since they don’t, the next best thing is to talk about stuff. I think we will end up broken hearted if we share our lives hoping that the listener can remove our pain and “save” us from our pasts. It is very possible that the way in which I describe communication comes across as “tell someone and the pain will go away”, that isn’t true, and I publicly ask for forgiveness if that is the picture that I’ve painted. One of the points that I tried to make in this blog, is that it never really “goes away” however, the way in which we deal with it and manage it can be changed and improved and I do believe that communication has a great deal to do with that. Let’s take journaling for instance, writing in a journal does not dissolve the issue that we are writing about… What it does do is make the issue real, and necessary to deal with! My ultimate goal is that we would face and deal with the junk that we have been drug through rather than let it fester and rot inside of us which will cause much more pain and relational damage than communicating ever will! The only exception to this that I can think of is if we view the listener as our savior rather than Jesus, if you don’t know or care to know Jesus than your only hope is counseling [which at the end of the day is simply talking it out with someone, degree or not] and eternally speaking there isn’t much hope here.

      As I opened with, we obviously know each other and you are absolutely right… I am unable to be “there” for everyone and on some level it was probably an ignorant offer to make. An offer made out of my hearts desire and a lot of emotion. I don’t know how much this means to you, but I am sorry. I received an email the morning after I posted this from another individual who I was close with at one point and they explained to me that they were hurt by my offer considering I had neglected their attempts to contact me. There are two things about this that break my heart… one is that I am not the man that I present to the world sometimes and in that I failed you when you needed me to be there with/for you. The other is your closing remark, “After being on the receiving end of such, only ONCE, it becomes that much harder to open the door to that closet…after each time, you close yourself off more and more until you share yourself with no one. You keep everything in and have only surface friends and decide that’s better than having no friends…..”

      I am thankful for your venting. I am sorry that I have been a part of the pain in some regard. I hope to find out the name behind the anonymous title someday.

  7. To vent on a blog would be pointless. There is nothing that you or these people could say. I do go to close friends with problems, and christian based qualified people for advice. But I think posting for the world to see is selfish and self seeking. Venting is fine, I encourage it; but that is not our life’s purpose. Get out of your own box and move forward. God calls us to produce fruit…so like I said before swallow the vomit that no one wants to hear and eat some reality and grow.

    • See, now this is just silly… “swallow the vomit that no one wants to hear.”

      There are millions of people who want to hear that they are not alone! I don’t ask everyone to put their whole lives on the internet for the world to see and have admittedly said that it may not be a healthy decision for most people, however, it is my story and it is a strength and avenue that I feel gifted in and empowered in. We do not all communicate in the same manner. According to you, you are doing the very thing that I encourage… talk to the people that are close to you, that you love and love you back and if the opportunity presents itself, talk to someone older and wiser than you. So, really I am not sure of your fight… We obviously agree in the basic principal of what I am encouraging.

      Be Free, whoever you are. I just hope that you are not this anonymous to your own heart; it needs you…

  8. I tend to agree with Dennis, that it is key to confess our sins to each other, to let the skeletons out of the closet…the Bible clearly emphasizes the importance of doing so: community. Community is key–we are all parts of one body and are built to help one another out. Three chords are stronger than one.

    Having this community helps not only us, but others out there who are struggling with the same thing. However, we should know that community does not replace Christ.

    Ultimately, God is the only one who can heal our deep lesions. A lot of time he gives us community to help with this, but if we place all our emphasis on one person to be there for us all the time…no matter who that person is, if it’s not Christ THEY ARE GOING TO LET YOU DOWN.

    We are in a world who actually depends on one another, whether we know it or not (even Mr./Ms. Independent depends on a farmer, a distributor, and a barista to make their morning cup of coffee). As contradictory as that is to what modern, American culture tells us, it’s truth. Man was not meant to live alone.

    We are in need of one another–community, confession, confiding in one another so that we can press on to victory in the end. However, we are left to do so with an imperfect creation, therefore we are called to give grace to one another, knowing they are as imperfect as we.

    It is a messy business–people–all the hurt and vulnerability and ugliness. But the truth is we aren’t alone in it. If God didn’t want us to be upfront about our nature, a lot of the stupid things that the Apostles did in the Bible would not be included. Paul would not be known for killing other Christians, Peter would not be known for denying Christ three times, but God included that because he saw some importance in transparency and truth. So that we might know we are not alone and that we are NEVER unreachable or too disgusting for His Grace and Love.

    Community is important, confessing is important, vulnerability is important. Grace is important. Faithfulness is important.

    • Abbie,
      you and I have been through a lot together and I have known you way longer than most people who know both of us would be able to guess. One of the most beautiful things about our friendship is the grace that you’ve extended to me. There was a point where I walked away from you and other people that I was close to at that time. WIthout explanation I vanished and it took years for me to confess the motive behind my disappearing act. Thank you for accepting me back into your heart, you are a great friend to me and will probably remain as such for the duration of our lives. You are living proof of the grace that comes with vulnerability.

  9. That last message of mine seemed harsh to me. Sorry about that. I don’t want to come of as a mean person. I just want you to be aware, Dennis, that not all people communicate like you and nor should they have to. Not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve. In fact, I don’t encourage that, but if it works for you just know that it doesn’t for everyone and that there is nothing unhealthy about going to qualified people. I can tell something bad happened to you in that type of situation and I am sorry for that. But most times those people can help you more than a friend who can only supply sympathy. But if that is what you want then please keep doing what you are doing.
    But I will say it again…THE PROBLEMS AND THE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE DO NOT DEFINE YOU. By Christ you are renewed and cleansed from you past. Do not allow the past to dictate your future, do not continually worship your past because when you do that you are not allowing yourself to blossom or grow-that is what I mean when I say swallow your vomit.

    • Thank you for being aware of your tone…
      Here are the things that you are missing: I DO understand that not all people communicate like I do and I do not expect everyone to wear their heart on their sleeve. The reason that I do choose to communicate this way is because people typically emulate a percentage of what they see, admire or aspire to become. I don’t say this in saying that people admire ME or aspire to be ME, I say this because we all want the strength to talk about our pain, to escape it’s grip and to run free! And to state it again, I DO think that professional help is beneficial, I never said that it was not. Lastly, we are all equally defined by our pain and our progress, the level of pain that one experiences drastically effects the level of “healing” necessary to be healthy. It is silly to think that we are not shaped by our pain in the same regard that we are shaped by the accolades and by the positive experiences. Ones hope as a follower of Christ is this: their story, regardless of it’s details would continually point to redemption and not narcissism, grace and not manipulation and freedom rather than bondage.

  10. Wow.

    I am not normally one to comment on other people’s ignorance but I am completely blown away by these “Christian” Ideals that Anonymous is trying to use as a basis for a very heartless argument.

    Check it:

    “Carry each others burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” Galatians 6:2

    Honestly….

    I find it extremely freeing to write about my problems because I am a writer…and I have a blog, where I vent about my problem. I’m not seeking advice or trying to gain sympathy. I am simply removing all of the negativity from my mind. I under no circumstance think that posting my problems for the world to see is selfish or self seeking. It’s simply how I deal with my issues…and apparently it’s how Dennis deals with his as well. So, are you saying that every song written about love lost is selfish and self seeking…? Because that’s how song writers deal with their issues…lyrics are no different than a blog…there is just a melody behind it, but because like most of the world you can personally identify with catchy beats on the top 40 so it’s ok, right?

    I am not a sympathetic person. I think it is a wasted emotion. I do however have empathy when it’s appropriate and I know how to help my friends grow without being completely disrespectful towards their feelings.

    So, I won’t be “swallowing my vomit” as you so thoughtfully put it…and if you can’t even post your real name and have a back bone then you’re telling the wrong person to grow up….just saying…

  11. ALL will be revealed in the end. Everything. So what’s the harm in talking about something that is going to be exposed at Judgment?
    If you are looking to get rid of your skeletons, you will only be successful in hiding them for a while at best. The only way to truly “get rid of them” is to expose them–that gives God the opportunity use them for something good. Whereas if you didn’t talk about it, God could do nothing with it because you didn’t allow Him to.

    Of course there is wisdom and prudence we should pursue in this–the appropriate time and place perhaps. But it is not silly or wrong to be open about one’s life–it takes a lot of humility. Narcissism and Honesty are two very different things, the fruits born by followers of two very different masters.

  12. I do believe that my lack of faith often finds me seeking depth in people that they may not be able to fill. I don’t parallel your values and I think that’s where I see the gap. You can only be there for Christians.

    As much as it seems I’m being harsh towards you, I’m bitter toward a lot of people, namely myself. I knew when I wrote the word, “Everything” it would be taken so literally. Of course I’ve never tried to pour EVERYTHING on one person, nor do I think anyone should. You find people you think you can trust…people you think care about you…people YOU care about…and you share, you ask, you confide. In turn, sometimes you end up being the ear and consoling them or giving advice. I enjoy the give and take of relationships. It turns out though, most people just want to talk about themselves, not listen. Most people don’t want to hear the bad things in YOUR life because let’s face it, everyone has their own problems/skeletons.

    Obviously this wasn’t the sole focus of your blog, I understand. You did leave it open for comments though, and this is what caught me.

    I’d disclose myself, but I think it’d only push you to disregard my comments as you’ve disregarded me. I read your response and it made my throat well up a bit…mostly because I’d like to think the people we choose to trust in the world can be the people we believe them to be, however that’s never proven true.

    People are faulty and hypocritical. People are hurtful and selfish. People are elite.

    People close everything up for a reason…so think about that girl in her gray hoodie….and think about all the people who don’t care enough to be there for her.

  13. Dennis,

    I would like to respond to your post. I think that your heart is definitely in the right place – I care not to remark on whether or not you are capable to maintain such a commitment to others for only you know. But after all you’re human and sinful in nature as we all are and we are all likely to fail each other in some capacity at some point.

    I think there is wisdom and biblical backing to sharing and becoming accountable for our downfalls – or more poignantly: sin. I also think that there is a huge blessing that comes out of transparency…. We are not defined by what we have been through or what we have done, but we are defined by the grace that God has extended to us in spite of it.

    We cannot disregard how we can bless each other by showing we have been there or we struggle along side one another – as long as we keep Jesus as the focus and continue to model our lives after His – TOGETHER. After all, iron sharpens iron right? I think there are some struggles that people must get professional or pastoral help on, but on the larger scale I believe that sharing in our reliance on Jesus is a healthy and honest thing to do and it may bless others.

    I am a firm believer that people who claim to be followers of Christ need to show compassion and sympathy to one another – after all Christ did this on many occasions throughout His life.
    How can we not show it to each other if we claim Him to be our Rabi? We are called to be followers not just believers. In doing so we are also expected to use our wisdom with whom we share our lives and with what we share. We have warnings of this throughout scripture.

    I think we have some natural “verbal vomiting” tendencies in our culture, but I think we need to be cautious on judging how someone chooses to engage others for Christ’s sake especially if there is fruit from it.

    So, I guess what my rambling is truly trying to convey is: Dennis it’s clear you feel God has laid it on your heart to be transparent and to extend love and grace to others. So… Keep doing it.

    “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kindly to everyone, an apt teacher, patient, correcting opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant that they will repent and come to know the truth.” 2Timothy 2:24-25

  14. I have read this post tonight and seen the responses and I felt as though I had to throw my thoughts out there regardless of my “Qualifications ” or not . I feel as though it is safe to say that all of us in our lives have things we are proud of our selfs for , things that we are ashamed of ,Things we feel guilty for. I have them I have those mistakes those skeletons . Now I can’t speak for others as to how they carry that guilt or shame . I can’t tell you if they look at the face of a loved one that years earlier they hurt in some way and at times can’t help but relive the pain they know they caused that person. Though the person that they hurt may have forgiven them and moved past it the one whom caused that hurt still at times in a sense hates them selfs for what they know they cause someone they loved . What I can say is that I have felt that way and if I am honest still due at times. It seems real easy to shut up , not say anything & ignore your fears , pains , insecurities and your guilt. To simply sweep things under the rug , keep our faults out of sight of everyone else seems safe . Heaven forbid we ruin our wonder reputations and show any sign of fault or weakness. Here is the problem I see with that logic , in one way or another the hidden things we keep locked up , the things that only we see when we lay our heads on our pillows , the things that give us those days that we feel something missing . All of it no matter what it is , how you cover it up ALWAYS comes to light . These things we hold on to, and your fooling yourself if you think that keeping it all locked inside till you find someone QUALIFIED to speak with about it always take us to a point where we break and guess what when we are there at that point , we all are shouting for help.
    An example : there is a place in these rainforest where hunters set traps for these monkeys which they kill and sell for furs and such . The traps are not fancy traps , they are very simple the put holes just big enough in coconuts for the monkey to slip its hand in then they fill it with these pieces of rice and other things the monkeys eat and they post the coconuts to chains on a tree . The monkeys come along in search of food and find it in these coconuts , they put their hands in and ball up their fist and fight to get the food out, easily they could get away just let go , let your fist go stop fighting it. Though they don’t and the hunters come along days later when they know the traps are full and enough they are still fighting with clinched fist not letting go and the hunters kill them.
    Be strong , don’t show weakness , fight thru … we hear it all the time but what makes us strong ? is it not our past failures ,struggles ,pains, losses and times of despair . Who is the weak , truth is we all are but we find strength sometimes in some of the most unexpected places ,if you dont venture out in those times how will you ever find it . if we are to fight thru things how can you give your self a fair shot to win if you haven’t given yourself every possible opportunity to gain strength ,wisdom ,and encouragement. So is it really healthy to swallow and and absorb that pain or regret or guilt on your own because as I see it none of us are qualified alone to grow and heal alone .It takes more strength to admit to someone hey this is what I have been thru , these are the things I am not proud of that I have done , this is what I have struggled with . It hopefully will do a few things one its a release for yourself , It lets another person know hey this is me , my past is my past , this is where I am at now ,and here is the person I am trying to become. You never know the person you tell may have been or is going thru something you went thru or you did and may just lighten their heart a bit .
    As I said I cant speak for everyone else but I can say for me I have dealt with death of some of the most important people in my life , I have hurt those close to me , I was at one point on top of the world money great career and then found my self in jail . I carried that guilt and shame and to an extent still do so I can say that I know what its like to be sitting with someone and want to let them know what your going thru or what pain you feel but didn’t our of fear and shame worried about judgement , Yes I talked to counselors I got things off my chest but for me I came to a point where It just felt as though he was listening but wasn’t hearing he gave me coping methods ,but didn’t hear me . When I took the chance to just simply put it out there to people I was amazed to hear things like , i didn’t know you went thru all that , this is what I went thru . or I was in your shoes … I wasn’t looking for sympathy I just wanted to be me and put all my cards out there. The best part of all those chance encounters and talks wasn’t so much what it did for me but what felt great was when it let the other person feel as though they could speak without being judged because that is a huge reason that people go thru life holding on to guilt or regret or pain. When someone sees first hand your wounds , the fresh wounds and the healed wounds it lets them see hope and not just hope but they see there can be healing . If we depend on our selfs to fight thru everything we would never learn when to let go of what were struggling with kinda like those monkeys .Who is Qualified , to me those with the heart to listen , those who have been thru similar experiences , Those who are STRONG enough to just talk and be honest .It really did strike a nerve to read someone ANONYMOUS speak strongly about not bearing your heart for others input and also give others hope by reading about the strugges of another and call it a sympathy act . Being Vulnerable for the sake of yourself and others takes Strength and seeks growth. At the end of the day after all has been said and done and comments have been read ,time in prayer and thought at that point all things considered it could bring help ,healing , peace or a sense of direction that they didn’t have before . After prayer and thought , reflection on all that was commented if there is nothing that is put on the persons heart of substance then the worst that could have come out of someone bearing these skeletons is maybe just maybe someone whom has similar feelings guilts , regrets and mistakes sees that they are not alone , that they don’t have to be ashamed and live with that pain .They could find hope . They might just let go so they can just live , live the lives they deserve. Thats just my take on it though from some of my skeletons , Dennis I enjoyed your blog brother ,God Bless
    Ryan

  15. Dennis, I think I would have enjoyed this blog a whole lot more, if you had stopped to say hello to the seemingly troubled, young, average looking girl, you deemed lonely and captive. Perhaps you were that “freedom” just an arms length away. I do not believe Christ would have just driven by to rush home to blog about her, he would have said a kind word first. None of us have all the answers, but what you provide folks takes courage, and you make people think. Keep writing.

  16. Natassia, it might be beneficial to remember all the times Dennis was there for you. Bills were paid, late night phone calls answered. Genuine friendship extended. To discredit that because he dissappointed you is blinding yourself to the many times God’s blessed you.

  17. I keep hearing the word qualified being thrown around by someone. What makes someone qualified to confess something with another and lift it up in prayer to God? As far as i know God does not call on the qualified, but qualifies those He calls.

  18. I see that a majority of people enjoy venting to friends and seeking prayer from them. I suppose if that works for you, then so be it. I pray that your friends provide God based wisdom to you and healing for you to continue on in life. So that you do not dwell on the negative, because Christ would not want you to be defined by your mistakes but to define yourself by Him. Blessings. I never meant to offend. I simply felt that Dennis’s outlook was bleak. That was the first comment I made, focus on the good, focus on Christ.

  19. I like when people are allowed to freely express their thoughts/feelings. I like the space you’ve created to share yourself with others, and I love that you hear out whatever is posted. I like that you appreciate differing opinions regardless of whether or not they match yours. I like that you allow for everything, even if it’s a little animosity coming your way. I love this space you’ve created and commend you for being so open and bold. Surely more than I can say for myself. I also like when people own up to the things they say. . . A tone even. I smile in reading much of this conversation. While I seemingly am the only non Christian in conversation, it is even still so refreshing to see people so passionate enough convu what they believe in to share ‘knowledge’ and discuss matters. With that said, I too, recognize my tone. Negative at best. Pessimistic. Condescending even. While my beliefs don’t parallel yours, I DO respect them. I respect anyone bold enough to believe in SOMETHING.

  20. I’m sorry if it seemed at all otherwise. In Regards to my personal information or personal relationship experience, it’s something I may one day be able to openly discuss when I am mature enough to find the appropriate scenario/venue. Again… I like your space. Believe nothing else I’ve said more than this. I enjoy reading here. You are a beautiful example of humility and honesty.

  21. I want to thank you all for joining the conversation, this stuff is so good!! Rather than going through and replying to every comment like I was, I decided to just post my answer in a new blog… WHAT DEFINES ME? is up and I would love to see the conversation continue about our pain and how we choose to heal.
    L!VELOVE

  22. Pingback: 2010 In Review [Transition to 2011] « .Love.Pray.Talk.Heal.Live.

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