Beyond the criticism that I’ve received for the abortion that I paid for when I was seventeen, I’ve also received many thanks for my willingness to share that part of my story. A topic that has become so politically and religiously taboo that NO ONE speaks of it. The fact that I am a Christian and openly discuss the topic throws some of my brothers and sisters into an uproar, I am so willing to endure the comments and conversations in order to experience God using my brokenness to mend another.
I have lost count of how many times I have heard these words, “I have not told anyone about this but, because you shared your story I feel comfortable telling you because I know you won’t judge me.”
Do I boast or find comfort in the fact that I was wicked and took the life of a child whom God was creating? Not at all, often times it is the opposite of that, however, I know that if I don’t tell my story, who will tell theirs?
Thrice has a line in their song “For Miles” that goes a little something like this, “every scar is a bridge to someone’s broken heart”. We are all scarred. Most of us have been cut so deep that the scar, although healed, will always be visible, raised, discolored, present. There is no way to permanently cover a scar this intense, it can only be hidden under clothing, much like our faces under masks. In the Christian community we talk often of removing our masks, showing the reality of who actually lives within our flesh. I think in order to remove the mask we must first remove our sleeves and expose scars. Every scar plays a very specific and significant role to which mask[s] we choose to adorn ourselves with and those masks will not come off until the pain behind them is released and dealt with.
A large majority of you/us have been wronged in unspeakable ways or have wronged others in unspeakable ways, let’s start with putting those all out on the table like a deck of cards spread thin covering the entire surface. Let the sleeves be ripped off…
I am just going to use “us” for every pain that I put on display so you know that I am not singling you out; pain is pain!
- Some of us have been raped, physically or verbally forced to be involved in sexual acts that were not desired.
- Some of us have been the overbearing one who didn’t take no for an acceptable answer.
- Some of us have been the cause of or, an accessory to adultery.
- Some of us have physically harmed our bodies in an attempt to let go of the pain.
- Some of us have been addicted to narcotics, prescription drugs or alcohol in order that we might not feel anything.
- Some of us have given away ourselves sexually to nearly anyone that would take us for that moment.
- Some of us have stolen things that weren’t ours out of compulsion or desire for what we don’t have.
- Some of us have been physically abused.
- Some of us have been horribly neglected and displaced.
I think that should be a decent start for us… Take some time and journal about the experiences that ring the truest in your life and once you have worked through the thoughts find someone, anyone and talk to them, let them know why you are bringing up such painful issues and be prepared to hear things in return that you never imagined.