ThreeHundredSixtySix Days & Eight Hours

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One year ago today, I lost the most significant person in my life. In the loss it is easy to say, “she didn’t deserve to die”. Or did she? From the perspective of human eyes it is easy to call the death of a loved one “unjust”, but, unjust to who? My mother smoked cigarettes for nearly thirty years, she died of lung cancer. Does the injustice lie in my mothers death or in the fact that she ignored the potential consequences to a habit such as smoking?

So far, the thought of every word I have typed has been done with tears welled up in my eyes. I feel the loss of my mother nearly every day, but that doesn’t give me an excuse to play the “feel bad for me” card; I trust in a God who promises to provide and has never once failed me.

My thoughts are usually either spiritual, emotional or logical and at times they intersect… Today, my emotion in raging, it draws out insecurities that make me want to run back to the familiarity of sin. My logic reassures me that the sin I would cling to is entirely unfulfilling and only delays the comfort that is hoped to be experienced. It is also logic that leads my brain to just push forward without an emotional response, it is what it is and I can’t undo what has been done. My spiritual process is often the hardest to cling to because there is the least amount of tangible experience, however, I know [not think, not hope] that my mother is sitting at the feet of King Jesus, offering eternal worship to her creator, savior, and redeemer. How could I even for a minute hope that she was removed from that place, especially in my own selfish desire.

Kimberly Rae will always live in the memories that she created while she was here, she will be missed and will always be a sense of encouragment for my life [as long as it lasts].

Thank you for walking through life with me, if you have lost someone or know someone close to you who has, I hope that this is encouraging.

dennis alan gable jr.

p.s. crying in public is awkward… more for the people around me than for me but, awkward nonetheless.

This is one of my most favorite pictures.

This is one of my most favorite pictures.

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4 thoughts on “ThreeHundredSixtySix Days & Eight Hours

  1. So awesome to know that our Lord is eternal and Your mom is with him and in his time, as will you. May your hope continue to be in him and your joy in his work on the cross. love ya d Gabe!

  2. Dear Dennis, You don’t know me… but I am friend of Danny’s…
    Remember with God EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!! Ask God to open your spiritual ears so you can hear.. Then Ask God to hear your Mother’s voice again… Remember ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE – it needs to be his will and you may have to pray and ask him numerous times or even just once… But I have spoken with my Mother who I love and miss so dearly.. but she is ok… and when you hear your Mothers voice again… you will know this is a gift from God for you : ) He loves you… I love what Joy God has given to me, and I want to share God’s joy with you! Believe ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE, just PRAY, ask for forgiveness, Ask God to open your spiritual ears, and Ask God to hear your Mom’s voice again! Your sister in Christ! Sue

  3. I hope when I am gone..my boys will eulogize all the moments we spent together in this way..

    Most boys they wouldn’t show their feeling-most go through denial..most don’t talk..they carry the pain with them to adulthood and parenthood..

    Its good that you have found a venue for you to express your sorrow here..thanks for sharing it..

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