Do We Feed the Need or the Addiction?

This is something that I have spent some time thinking about and I don’t think this blog will even be able to fully express the ideas that I have.

A hand-full of months ago, I took it upon myself to get some people together to “Feed the Need”. FtN was my attempt at reaching out to the homeless population in the Phoenix Metropolitan area. I have heard multiple stories about how in need the homeless are and how much responsibility I bear to make sure that they are fed and clothed.

What makes the homeless community my responsibility?

Is it because I’m a human and therefore should have some emotional connection to the “need” of other humans? Or, is it simply because I am a Christian, and Christ said that we should care for the widow and the orphan and so I am eternally responsible for the well being of others?

Maybe the answer to this question is both… There is something inherent about how our hearts are connected and it takes a massive amount pain, naivety or manipulation to hate humanity.

I in fact, do not hate humanity, rather I have a deep love for the men and women who aimlessly roam this big blue playground. Daily my heart is broken for the individuals that I see wearing an outfit for the thirty-seventh straight day. My heart is broken due to the decisions that they have made to end up where they are, I don’t say this in a heartless way, however, in my experience there is a very high percentage of homeless people that have made very specific decisions to end up where they are. There are also very special people who have experienced a rough turn of events that leave them with limited options and homelessness is often one of those options. The unnerving thing is that we can not tell simply by looking, we must hear their stories and be willing to shake dirty hands. Hands that have cooked dope, wiped their backside or masturbated without being washed afterwards.

As I mentioned earlier, I had started what I thought was going to turn into a movement of care and support for homeless individuals in Phoenix. We were a group of kids who wanted to “Feed the Need” that we see everyday. I was disheartened at what I found to be true about this community that I was exploring and giving the time, money and resources of twenty something twenty-somethings.We discovered that the shelters which have been built and designed to benefit those who are homeless were not full!

What?! You mean to tell me that we interacted with hundreds of men and women who appear desperate and are without new clothes, a home or the ability to cook their own dinner and yet they blatantly refuse assistance… Hmmm. That seems somewhat ignorant, right?

And so, the question arises… “how do we know who is on the street because life has turned upside down on them and who can’t free their hands from the pipe/syringe or bottle?” I would say, we know because they are the ones who are taking advantage of the FREE services that are provided for them. C.A.S.S. which stands for Central Arizona Shelter Services offers literally everything that one would need to get back on their feet and begin to provide for themselves or their family. The services available at C.A.S.S. are  drug/alcohol treatment, job training, shelter, clothing, food, shower, mail services, psychological therapy, medication, state issued identification, literally everything that someone would need to reestablish themselves as a functional piece to our dysfunctional society. Once I learned that the homeless can eat at least three free meals a day and have all of these services available to them and yet the shelters are not reaching capacity, I stopped feeding a gluttonous stomach.

I could not let myself facilitate their homelessness, no matter how “good” I felt giving a sandwich to someone willing to take it. Shoot, if someone offered me a sandwich, I’d eat it!

Regretfully, I responded incorrectly.

Everything came to a screeching halt! There was no motivation for me to be taken advantage of by men and women that I have experienced time and time again in my life. I have seen more of my fathers syringes, spoons and arm ties than I’d like to remember, I guess the fact that he was a “functional” addict gave him a little more freedom. Nevertheless, there is still a need that is very apparent and worthy of feeding. We must feed this need with much more than a sandwich rather with rich conversation and faithful prayer. My friend Chris Meisner and I discussed some options to this pursuit and how we as humans can be the most effective while not feeding addictions but rather by feeding the void that has led them to addiction in the first place.

Join me in prayer for our city or rally people to pray for your city. There will be a new movement started a movement of love, active, purposeful, love.

I would really love your thoughts on this topic as it is a touchy one and I do not have all of the answers, nor do you so, hopefully together we can appropriately feed the need while being good stewards of time and resources.

 

L!VELOVE

A Lesson Worthy of Learning

I have done myself an injustice.

I fight to hard to understand the hows and whys of life.

I cling to closely to resolution.

I fear relational chasms in an unhealthy way.

Over the last ten years I have seen a lot of relational pain as the observer, offender and receiver. There have been many hours put into trying to figure out the workings of the human heart [relational part of the brain]. Here are some examples of the topics that I try so hard to understand:

Why do we harness bitterness only to be upset with the one we “love”?

Why are people unfaithful [seriously, if you want to sleep around, just be single]?

Why do we have these little baby triggers that destroy a situation unnecessarily?

Why do I talk things out while others think things through?

All relationships experience a collaboration of these and many others. The triggers are made up of our baggage, the experiences that we have gathered, ranging from all types of relationships from family to romantic. Some of us are the abuser and some of us are the abused. All of these things effect and influence the motions and movements of a relationship. They create walls and insecurities and have to be fought through not simply dealt with.

As most of you have read or seen on my twitter/facebook I am in a relationship with a very special woman, she is seriously the completion to parts of me that I never thought would actually be completed. [while writing this all I can think of is Jerry McGuire, ha] Jamie is witty, spontaneous, weird, sensitive, honest, loving, supportive, funny, intriguing, interested, creative and uncontrollably beautiful. Unfortunately, we can not just meet someone for who they are and start fresh… We all have bags of shit [there is just no other word that works] that we carry with us, from past experiences, from the injustices that are done to us and some of us carry more than others. Jamie and I have both had our fair share of bad relational decisions which makes for a hard fight, a worthy but hard fight. During the moments when one of our bags falls to the floor and a little poopoo spills out is when we get to see the strength in our bond. There are times that we fight/argue over really silly things and there are times that the topics are a little more worthy of the intensity.

Where I fail hard is in the resolution…

I want to talk everything out, now! Not in five minutes, not tomorrow, now. The way that I best enjoy to process the situation at hand is to talk through it, to share your feelings and I’ll share mine. You can tell me how what I said made you feel and I will do the same so we both are understanding of what is being said and felt and more so why they are being said and felt.

Jamie is not as sudden in her process of resolution. She needs time to think about what was said and why and once it has been processed and thought about, then it can be talked about. We are very different in this.

I think I am a little abnormal in how I deal and process information but because I hate festering emotion I am pushy that it be done my way, this is totally unfair of me. I really need to be more understanding when she needs her time and even though it is frustrating [for me] to walk away without resolution, my biggest concern has to be her heart even to the point that I sacrifice my “process”.

I love Jamie. I try to love her sacrificially the way that we experience the love of Jesus. Sometimes my pride makes this difficult. My goal is to learn how love her the way that Christ loves the “church” before I am eternally responsible to. I will fail and fall from time to time and I will have to repent of my selfishness but, I hope she knows that she is the one I am fighting for; I know she is fighting for me.

LoveLove

Questions you’d be terrified to answer?!

I’m speaking at a venue called [mission] on Thursday night and the theme is [in the dark] which is a place that we frequently live.

—We are terrified of people being able to read the fine print in our story.

—We tremble at the idea of being exposed for who we really are.

—We get caught in the trap of confabulation.

—We value metaphors and concepts like the representation of the Phoenix but, are unwilling to admit the ruin that has been redeemed.

What is the most terrifying question that you can think of in terms of having to be vulnerable with who you are at the core or just the exposing of your actions??

I would really like your feedback on this because the questions that you would be terrified to answer are the ones that I’m going to answer from the stage through amplified sound.

Thank you for your participation!!!

L!VELOVE

 

information about [mission]
Thursday, October 29, 2009 @ 6:30pm – On the campus of New Life Community which is located on 8155 W Thunderbird Rd

Your Fist, Your Face

Hello, my name is Alan and I am a narcissist. I am a little nervous to be in here with the rest of you, not because there is anything wrong with you, I just don’t know that I am comfortable being here with you people. Please, don’t take that “you people” as a negative thing, I’m sure that you are great people but, this is me we’re talking about. I’m a pretty good Christian, I serve, I have coffee with people, I don’t sleep with my girlfriend, and I don’t judge you people either. I am constantly asking other people about you so that I can pray for you, please know that I wouldn’t gossip about you. And, when I condemn you, or come down on you spiritually, it’s because you’re messing up and it is my place to tell you. You know, Iron Sharpens Iron and I feel so blessed that God would use me to get your life back on track!

If you read this and it rings a little like this, “mirror mirror on the wall…?” then do us all a favor… get up from your computer, walk to the closest mirror and punch yourself repeatedly in the face until you bruise or bleed.

Thank you.

I often hear stories of people that strive after Jesus being condemned, bashed and beaten for things that are not sin. What troubles me the most about this is how quickly we are able to feel justified in acting this way because we have ran from a specific sin three consecutive temptation sessions. Big deal. Maybe your parents did you an injustice and just always told you how great you are… my turn.

You are wicked.

You are selfish.

You are proud.

You are ugly.

You are sinful beyond your wildest imagination.

I know because I used to be this guy, I kept everything in my little “sin closet” except for when some dudes would get together and all share our masturbatory moments of the week. Pride is something that I often struggle with, however, I have prayed for and sought out the wisdom to be more in-tune with my life of sin. This is not something that I have or will ever master but, the greater I view my sin the greater the cross becomes to my heart.

There have been some men throughout the course of history that would be able to boast if they chose to do so and here is one example: Paul, converted Jew and writer of two-thirds of the New Testament wrote these words to the church in Corinth, “on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses. Though if I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me.”

This might be my favorite line, “so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me.” – Beautiful!

After your face heals, pray for this.

It is one thing to use a sinner as an example, no matter how righteous that sinner is, it is another thing to use the Messiah as our example: Mark 10:45 says, “for even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many.” If Jesus came to serve, being the one individual who could have demanded service and respect, we should probably do the same.

Paul sums this up beautifully as he writes to Timothy, “…Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of who I am the foremost.” Paul knew that he was the worst sinner that he would ever encounter.

I am the worst sinner that I will ever encounter.

You are the worst sinner you will ever encounter.

Your soapbox is starting to bow, step off of it, look to Jesus on the cross and resurrected from the grave. Focus on Jesus’ purpose, that He came to serve yet he owes us nothing!

*all sentences and phrases that are written to “you” are also written to me.

L!VELOVE

dennis alan gable jr.

Oh, where to begin?

Start time: 10:00PM [on the dot]
Music choice: The best of the DOORS

My diligence and commitment to this project has been extremely inconsistent, for that, I apologize! Please, give me an opportunity to explain. The Proverbs as individual pieces of literature are some of the most encouraging, insightful and beautifully written words of all human history. There is a suspicion, however, that as Americans we are [what Solomon would call] a simple people who speak an incredibly simple language. The often times misunderstood beauty of intricacy is much like a coin that falls into the coils of your favorite couch, leaving this coin completely displaced until someone is willing to stab into the fabrics of the sofa and rip the threads apart until the coin is found. The coin is poetic, beautiful, diligent, long suffering, knowledgeable, obedient, rich in spirit and this is fulfilled in the wisdom that is found in the coin.

v. 33 of Chapter 15 says this:
The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom,
and humility comes before honor.

On Sunday at Praxis Church our Pastor, Justin Anderson spoke out of mark as we are in a continuing series of the book. We discussed the story of the rich young ruler who asks what he must do to experience eternal life. He first boasts of his obedience to the rules and laws of his religion, he then flees the presence of Jesus when his question is answered. “Go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” Justin concluded his sermon with this question, what/who do we worship in such a way that Jesus would tell us to “go and sell, throw away or leave” so that we might be able to follow him?

My confession. There are aspects of numerous happenings that would benefit my ability to follow Jesus with all of my time and energy, however, some of them are healthy and necessary.

Vague?
Maybe.

Who/What is in your way of following Jesus and pursuing wisdom and correction?

Because I have chosen over the years to be honest with you, I would appreciate to be let into some of your hearts and to stay on the subject of honesty, I am very displeased with this blog. But, here are my 2 cents

Take em or leave em

dennis alan gable jr.

Please, stay anonymous. Thank you!

OK. I am sure that there are some people who write and don’t care if people comment or engage with what they are reading, I am not one of those people. If you are taking the time to read my thoughts, ideals and assumptions, please take another couple of minutes and give me your input! I have asked multiple times over the course of my blogging life that you would argue with me, encourage me, anything! Without your interaction I will never grow as a thinker or writer. Please. Please. Please. Please. Engage. Argue. Comment. Encourage. Disagree. Ask for prayer. Ask for advice. Something! I love you. As much as I write because it is therapeutic, I also write so you would have another angle or direction on familiar topics. That maybe my vulnerability would be an encouragement to let your guard down. I need you. Let’s grow together.

Thank you. I am not blogging on Proverbs 8 tonight; I read it but have not yet taken the time to truly let it digest so, here is a poem instead.

my mind wonders and whirls
and spins and swirls
it hides it shrinks
like a ship it sinks
deadly with doubt
analyzing about
this loopty loop life
monsters abide
when faith subsides
darkness is night
show me the light
my mind wonders and whirls
it spins and swirls
it hides it shrinks
like a ship it sinks
I am simultaneously alive
with innovation inside
creativity unmatched
I am the deadliest catch
bursting forth
created for more
cadence implores
listen for the door
it knocks and it rings
it shouts and it sings
crying from the block
your heart is in shock
that love is this real
touch it and feel
beautiful and bizarre
how my words have opened your heart

Thank you for visiting.
L!VELOVE

dennis alan gable jr.

A Slithering Tongue: Proverbs Se7en

DennisGable is currently exhausted, emotionally, mentally and spiritually drained. It is liberating, freeing and frightening all at the same time.

Proverbs 7
First off, Solomon is… the crap! [censored for the religious] He approaches this written edification by saying “listen to my words and you will live, don’t just listen… strap my words to your entire body so you will not misplace them.” He then goes on his longest topical rant yet, twenty two verses to be exact. Leading off by encouraging us to call on wisdom and insight as our sister and friend so that we would keep away from the forbidden woman, the prostitute.
As my eyes scanned every word of this text I was nervous, my body trembled in fear that I would have to write the insight I have regarding these words.
She has seductive speech, a confident demeanor, a sexy body, forward [pursuant] actions, and a bed that smells like a Gold Canyon candle store. These are her weapons that she uses to attack the man, in this narrative, you are that man and I am that man.
I have fallen to the seduction of these words, melted at the confidence of her presence, lusted after the curves of her flesh, gladly welcomed her forward affections, I could do without the smoothie of fragrances, however, I’ve been persuaded in like a cartoon character floating in for a delicious home-cooked meal.

I have met her in the street.

I have slept in the bed of her husband.

I have silenced my conviction to experience the moment.

I have stated these things both actually and metaphorically .

But, I have also been a man with wayward speech, seductive eyes, confidence and the audacity to make the first move. I have been this man more times than I would like to remember and that’s because I am unable to remember. I was about ten years old the first time I remember my father telling me to f*&% women before they could f*&% me. Find ‘em, feel ‘em, finger ‘em, f*&% ‘em and forget ‘em was the advice that I received from the individual who was supposed to teach me what it meant to be a man. All I learned was how to be a disrespectful, ignorant, coward, who used any and everyone for my benefit. This has been my struggle, the “thorn in my side” as I have called it in my Christianese justification.

Over the years there have been many times that I have conveniently slipped in my headphones with music and drown out the voice and call of wisdom. On the other hand there have been many times that I have seen her [wisdom's] hands waving through the crowd and ran to her recklessly just to hear everything she had to say. Through the chaos and silence I have learned so much, I have re-written paragraphs to my story. Let me correct that, God has re-written paragraphs to this story that happens to have me as the main character. I have been transformed over the years, slowly, progressively but, surely. This process is called sanctification, it is where the Holy Spirit changes you, transforms you and molds you into a new creature and a new creation.

Praise God[!!!!] that he has taught me the things my father was supposed to teach me such as chivalry and how to respect, protect and provide for women, all of them. I am grateful for this because of where my life currently sits… I am in a committed relationship with a woman that I love deeply and instead of following this pattern [of this world] that I have followed my entire life, I am able to follow the pattern that the Lord has laid out before us. We struggle and fight, we win and we lose, there are boundaries that are fuzzy for some and definite for others [Sorry Josh but, we kissed dating hello]. One boundary that is unshakable is her and I becoming one before the time that God has set aside and prepared for us!

Men, keep your P out of the V!
Women, don’t let their P be in your V!
[P=Penis & V=Vagina]

This has turned into a short manifesto as opposed to a blog so I will cut it short here, for now.

Thank you for taking the time to read these thoughts and I would encourage you to check out Chris’ journey through Proverbs also @

L!VELOVE
dennis alan gable jr.

O Sluggard: Proverbs 6ix

This project has been unbelievably difficult so far… The goal is to read, meditate on, try to process and then express the text and how it is effecting my heart, in the midst of my normal [unstable] life. I’m not sure how I feel about myself and my inability to set aside the appropriate time to complete this project, well. That is possibly a lie, I am frustrated that I am unable to be responsible to this project, or any project for that matter.
For years I have been known as the dude who starts projects and doesn’t finish them, I don’t get much feedback on this because people are generally polite but, I wonder how often someone hears another dream of mine and simply rolls their eyes thinking, “that would be [insert something positive here] if he would actually follow through this time.”?

This has to change.

This is changing.

I was at work [Buffalo Exchange] today and was really feeling the weight of my laziness so, because there are 303 people who care about my daily happenings I decided to Tweet this, “dennisgable is so frustrated that I keep ending up in stupid jobs!! I have a story that needs to be told and the ability to tell it… Grrr” Moments after this had posted to the open hands of the world wide web I remembered that I was yet to read my Proverb for the day. Blackberry in hand I went to the mobile browser and brought up BibleGateway.com in order to read Proverbs 6 and in the palm of my greedy, lazy, self-righteous hands I read these words, “Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest. How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.“

Slap!
Slap!
Slap!

Right in the face…

It turns out that I suck way worse than I ever gave myself credit for!

The time is currently 2:34am Phoenix time and I am up working, finally. I have sent more than 25 emails out to valley principals and will continue to knock out my list tomorrow morning.
I do not gain a moment to my life by procrastinating.
I do not impact a life by sleeping in.
I do not learn diligence by pursuing laziness.

Solomon insulted me by using an ant, an ant! Think of how many ants have fallen to the sole of your shoes, it is them that Solomon gives credit for their work ethic, not I.

Good night, lazy.
Good morning, diligence.

L!VELOVE

If you have enjoyed the early steps of this journey, I would encourage you to visit my “big” brother Chris’ blog

The Day of Celebration & Proverbs 2

Today is my fathers “party”. He was never one to attend a service, willingly… My guess is he would have been able to count for you the number of weddings, funerals or service of any kind on both hands. He barely remembered his wedding ceremony because of a long morning spent frolicking with Mr. Jack Daniels, ceremonies and services just weren’t his thing. If i had to offer my opinion as to why, I would say that he was more afraid of the vulnerability that takes place within those settings. Emotional expression and vulnerability were not experiences that he embraced or experienced openly. So, in his honor we have decided to just have a backyard party, reminiscent of many that I have attended with him throughout my short twenty seven years.

Proverbs 2:

Solomon takes us a little deeper into the pursuit of wisdom and the benefits of it…

…Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path; for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul; discretion will watch over you, understanding will guard you, delivering you from the way of evil, from men of perverted speech, who forsake the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness, who rejoice in doing evil and delight in the perverseness of evil, men whose paths are crooked, and who are devious in their ways.

Solomon also discusses how wisdom is also fleeing from the wicked woman, who has discarded the love of her youth and now lives to entice the Godly.

Seek the Lord. Wisdom will guard the path of your heart.

I am sorry that this post isn’t very in depth, I have a lot on my mind and a lot of responsibilities to tackle this weekend. I will also try to post Proverbs 3 and 4 tomorrow sometime considering that I am already a day behind. This project is much more difficult that I originally gave credit for.

dennis alan gable jr.

Proverbs 1: “…Fools despise wisdom”

This is my first post for the “Proverbs Project”. Everyday throughout the month of October I will offer you my heart and my thoughts behind the words and instruction of Proverbs. Please feel free to leave your insight & wisdom, ask questions, criticize me, or anything else you feel comfortable doing. L!VELOVE

God, as I dig in to this book of wisdom, please guide my heart. Holy Spirit, please speak these words of truth and penetrate my heart with them.

I am approaching Your word and the pursuit of Your wisdom at a very raw time in my life. I am experiencing a little bit of everything without whole-heartedly pursuing anything. My lax approach makes things less tense but more confusing. Through the confusion I know that You are drawing my heart and some special hearts that surround me closer to You and the pursuit of Your righteousness.

Proverbs 1

Solomon’s purpose is that we [I] would know wisdom and instruction and understand words of insight. That we would receive instruction on how to deal wisely in obedience to Gods law, justice and how to treat humanity fairly. That we would take into consideration the interests of the naive and ignorant and lead the spiritually and physically young in knowledge and discretion. If we are wise, we should seek learning and if we understand, we should obtain guidance. That we would understand a proverb, saying, the words of the wise and their riddles.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. These might be the most powerful words that Solomon has ever written; it is the root to so many of our heart issues…

The next series of “verses” are interesting for me at the moment… Solomon starts by advising his reader to be obedient to the guidance and advice of our parents, I no longer have parents. I mean, sure, there are adults in my life who can and will speak wisdom into my life, however, I will never again receive guidance on how to treat my woman from my mother, or a tip on how to fix something from my father. These are probably not specifically the issues that Solomon had in mind but, they are the issues that I have in mind. He follows the charge for parental obedience up with these words, “do not consent if sinners entice you”. The path of selfish and greedy gain is a bloody mess, where most likely your blood will be the floor covering. This world will take no mercy on you in its pursuit of whatever it chooses to desire at the moment. If you have ever been taken advantage of in anyway, you will fully understand this. The unfortunate thing is that we all have felt these kinds of pain, some of us more often or more intense than others.

We all long for a woman to call. Solomon describes wisdom as a woman who calls from the streets and although we hear her voice, we ignore hear plea. She [wisdom] pleas and pursues the simple [ignorant, stubborn, proud] and the simple ignores until tragedy strikes the foot of the simple and upon the infliction of such pain, the simple turns their ear towards the calling voice of woman wisdom, but her window is closed. It is silly to think that we can pave our own path and turn towards the leading of wisdom to save us from the calamity that she tried to pry our fingers from in the first place. Can we take the knife out of her back without blood flowing like wine at a wedding? No.

Wisdom’s final promise is this: “ whoever listens to me will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of disaster.”

This is what we all seek… and yet, we ignore wisdom.

Let us not forget Solomon’s early plea: The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. I believe that the journey starts here… after we receive salvation through faith in Jesus Christ that we would fear the Lord and welcome wisdom with open arms.

Thank you for walking these streets with me.

Dennis Alan Gable Jr.